Becoming Better at Management than Blancmange

In the board room last week, the shocked silence had curled around the room like an anaconda, crushing the life out of us.

A week later, Sally was still protesting. ‘Maybe it was a little harsh to say blancmange has better leadership qualities than the management team… but you’ve seen what they’re like, Bingleby. They don’t work as a team; they spent the meeting discussing the implications of Martin Simmonds not wearing a tie; they’re not engaged with the organisation, and the organisation barely seem to know who they are. The photos of the exec team on the website aren’t for the outside world. They’re for the staff.’

I frowned, invisibly. ‘Sally, you will not change these things overnight. And while it is admirable that you stuck your flag on top of your tower, you now have the difficulty that your colleagues are hurtling away from your castle as fast as they can.’

‘So how do I get them back in my castle?’ Sally asked, perhaps maintaining the metaphor a little longer than it could bear.

‘Quit the castle yourself. Set up a tent. Somewhere cool and neutral in the hot blaze of the corporate desert. Where you can meet on equal terms, discuss, trade, and agree on how to get things done.’

‘Easy,’ despaired Sally. ‘So all I need is a tent.’

That metaphor was really on its knees now. ‘Think of it this way, Sally Gulliver. Perhaps you have given them the answer too soon. Try them with a few clever questions instead. You are reasonably good at those,’ I added, graciously.

‘Like… what two things about the organisation, and how it’s managed, would you change right now?’

Insofar as I could nod, having no head, I nodded. ‘And people are always more honest in a 1:1 than in the hectic bazaar of management team meetings. Get to know them better first before you decide they are blithering idiots.’ Most of them are blithering idiots, as it happens, but Sally Gulliver must find that out for herself. Idiot management has always struck me as a key skill for HR. Although I understand it is not called that any more.

‘Think I’ll put some time in Helen Brown’s diary. Thought I saw a twinkle of support in the eyes of our CFO.’

Sally Gulliver could do with the merest glimmer of support, I knew. Privately I hoped it really was that, and not conjunctivitis…

    
Next Friday: Will Finance ride to the rescue?

@BinglebyinHR

  
Bingleby was confiding in Richard Goff