The entire organisation looked expectantly at Sally Gulliver.
Resplendent in a brand new designer suit, not a hair out of place, her team’s adoring faces turned up towards her, Sally smiled indulgently and began. ‘We’ve been on quite a journey here at Global Blancmange,’ she said. Smiles of gratified recognition broke out around the room. ‘Oh yes – quite a journey.’
Sally moved away from the lectern and began to work the stage. ‘In just six months, our employee engagement scores have gone from 32% to 108%! Productivity has gone through the roof – in fact, we’ve had to build an extra roof just to accommodate it! We’ve just been voted the most valued employer brand in the western hemisphere!’
She paused. ‘And it’s all been led by HR!’
The cheering made the floor shake.
‘In the process, we’ve made HR what it always should be....’
On cue, everyone chorused, punching the air: ‘An insightful and deeply effective function, delivering real value to the business!’
Sally nodded, on top of the world. ‘When I change a culture, people, it stays changed.’
‘When I change a culture, people, it stays changed.’
Choirs behind her burst exuberantly into a song (specially written for the occasion) extolling the virtues of cultural change in an FMCG environment. Small birds made it their business to alight on her shoulder. The entire management team formed a queue to shake her hand, the backdrop behind them a photo of Sally winking on the cover of ‘People Management’ above the headline: ‘Nobel Prize for blancmange HR genius?’
At that point I poked Sally Gulliver with a frond and woke her up. ‘It’s time to address the All Staff Briefing,’ I rumbled.
Sally Gulliver yelped and ran out of the office. I heard her panicked footsteps receding into the middle distance, ever-diminishing, like a change initiative.
Next Friday: Throwing Custard Pies of Feedback
@BinglebyinHR
Bingleby was confiding in Richard Goff
This made me chuckle. I though it was too good to be true and the part about ‘When I change a culture, people, it stays changed.’ had me cringing waiting for the but...!
I wonder how many people are having the same dream in the current climate!
:-)
Man!!!! wish this can happen in all companies...after all HR I believe is the core of a business. What would a business be without people...more importantly without motivated people!
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