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Bingleby 's blog

People Are Our Most Impotent Asset

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‘So this is him, is it?’

Owlish COO Agatha Hamm nodded. ‘Dexter Cann. The best manager in the company.’

Sally Gulliver’s new deputy, Will Comfort, peered over Sally Gulliver’s shoulder at the intranet biog and asked: ‘Based on what?’

‘His team is the best-performing. Plus he has by far the best retention rates in the company. Only one person’s left in the last eighteen months.’

 ‘What happened to them?’

‘He managed them out. They were bullying other people in the team.’

Sally Gulliver nodded. ‘This guy sounds like he could be what we need. Let’s face it, we’re trapped in a vicious cycle. We don’t trust our people, so they don’t feel they can do stuff, so stuff doesn’t get done, so we keep doing stuff we were doing five years ago. Which in practice means we’re sliding backwards faster than a lump of blancmange on thin ice.’

Agatha Hamm nodded. ‘We’ve been losing market share to International Custard and to World Pudding Domination for the last two years. The only trouble with Dexter is….’

The other two waited. ‘What? 

Agatha Hamm sighed. ‘He’s missed his own targets. Some people in the business think it’s time for him to go.’

‘Has he missed targets before?’

‘He never used to, before he made management grade.’

‘Right,’ said Sally, straightening the biros on her desk with an air of decision, as if they were also resources to be cleverly developed. ‘There’s only one thing we can do.’

‘What?’ asked Agatha Hamm, seamlessly taking over bemusement duties from her HR colleagues.
‘Promote him.’

A look of horror moved into its accustomed place on Agatha Hamm’s face like a bus sidling up to its favourite bus stop. ‘Promote him? After he’s missed her targets? What kind of message does that send?’

Happy with the biros, Sally moved on to deploy her stapler and her hole-punch. ‘I’ll tell you what message it sends: it sends a message about leadership. When you told me about this guy last week, you said he trusts people to deliver, and they know what they have to deliver; he admits he can be wrong but is skilled enough, and self-aware enough, to know he’s usually right; he gets things done and people want to work for him. You bet we’re promoting him. If everyone led their teams like he does, International Custard would be getting their just desserts.’

I groaned audibly. It is at times like these I long profoundly to slap a despairing palm against my non-existent forehead.       


Next Friday: It’s A Leadership Thang

@BinglebyinHR

  
Bingleby was confiding in Richard Goff

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