It’s Like Leadership, Only More So

'I heard you were looking into leadership?’

Sally frowned warily into the phone. ‘Yeeesss….’

‘This is Pete Temple from Stowmarket Global Development Solutions. Let me tell you about my Leadership Rhomboid™.’

Sally looked helplessly at me. ‘Your what?’

‘My Leadership Rhomboid™. It’s got lots of edges, and every one of them is leading.’

Sally reached hastily for the nearest packet of biscuits. ‘I think we’re all right for leadership rhomboids, thanks…’

‘But my Leadership Rhomboid™ changes people’s lives. It’s the shape of the future that helps shape your future.’

‘Sorry, is this is joke? Will, is that you?’

The caller sounded stung. ‘You think leadership is a joke, Ms Gulliver? If you don’t mind my saying so, perhaps that’s why Global Blancmange is in the mess it’s in.’

Sally Gulliver’s eyes narrowed. ‘You think Global Blancmange is in a mess?’

‘Everyone knows it is. Nobody trusts the management, the management doesn’t trust anyone, there’s no innovation and you’re losing market share by the day.’

A sly flame of inspiration lit up Sally Gulliver’s eyes. ‘Well, that’s all going to change. Now we’ve got our Leadership Octagon.’

I heard the caller gulp unhappily. ‘You have a Leadership Octagon…?’

‘Naturally. Everyone’s got a leadership Octagon nowadays. They took over from leadership rhomboids months ago.’ Sally paused, before adding: ‘Our Leadership Octagon influences everything we do. It’s like leadership – only more so.’

There was a brief hurt pause. Then, screamed down the phone in some desperation: ‘I don’t believe in your Leadership Octagon! It’s just some weird freakish shape with too many sides! I’ve seen the future, Ms Gulliver, and I can assure you it’s rhomboid!’ 

The line went dead.

‘Sally Gulliver,’ I said, tentatively.

‘Yes, Bingleby?’

‘You don’t really have a leadership octagon. Do you…?’

 
Next Friday: Cracking the Leadership Code

@BinglebyinHR

  
Bingleby was confiding in Richard Goff