Apprentice 5: Episode 8: No Harmony from Melody but Helen Shows the Way to Team Success

This was the regular task of flogging British goods in France. Tom was set up as project manager for Logic and got less support as PM than Tony Blair got from Gordon Brown and his acolytes in his last term. Team Venture  was asked to find a manager and as usual Susan put herself forward on the basis of her business expertise, more of which later. Anyway half the teams were left to haggle and buy products, testing their skills of product selection and business savvy, in terms of what lines would make the best and worst margin and their influencing skills in getting selected as sole provider of the best products. The other half went on to France charged with exploring the market and following leads.

I have to say Lord Sugar's stance in this year’s series has irritated me. Firing Glen the engineer after a largely flawless performance, on the basis that he hadn't seen an engineer run a business was one thing. Now he's boosting the toxic narcissism of Melody by saying "I know she wants to take credit but she's hungry".  OK in this series with the search for a business partner, he is favouring the individual streak, and of course selling skills. Now, Melody can sell but she does so by being selfish, destructive and dissembling. She exhibits sociopathic tendencies, manipulating all in her path. News flash Lord Sugar: that might not be good for your new venture.  Her motto might be "it's not important that you succeed but that others must fail”.  When she did share credit it was “letting others in on the sale”. Her pig headedness about the products, favouring an archly modish teapot lamp over a mass market convertible child seat/back pack, cost the group the task. She was allowed to continually assert that she had done market research.  Now let’s be clear, she spoke to some French people in quite impressive French, whilst limp Leon drew a picture of a teapot. I think her sample was six people and of those who did not give a Gallic shrug, most said they were indifferent about the products. One bloke said that nobody in Paris drives; instead they all used the Metro. Melody took this as evidence that her teapot was the product the market wanted.  Not only that but she hogged all the sales appointments for herself.  She failed to do the research on la Redoute, the rainmaking sales which might have kept them out of the boardroom.  Now Tom could have been more assertive but Melody, like Jim, has a hold over people. I look forward to her being faced up to and found out, but it will take more gumption than I’ve seen. Cornered Jim or riled Zoe.
 
By contrast Helen was the real deal with her fantastic pitch, grounded research and team focus. Helen is secure and sorted a bit like Stella from the last series, though less feisty than full strength Stella. Nobody else in Helen's team came close. Jim panicked around Paris trying to find flogging opportunities, but without the ability to exercise his hold over a bigger group he was muted. Tom had no sales in his book and he needs to get seriously working on that if he is to cut the mustard. Leon deserved to go, but Melody now has a licence to be shrill and self satisfied. I stuck up for Susan earlier when  she was bullied by Zoe but now I have changed my mind. Her astonishingly crass display of  general ignorance over the French was beyond parody. Susan is the weakest remaining, and when they flog biscuits next week she might crumble.

Liked:
Helen’s marvellously informed, intelligent yet low key pitch to La Redoute. Look and learn all you amateurs.

Loathed:
Melody’s market research based on her flawless French “la Je n'aime pas cela bien pensez-vous c'est de la *** aussi?" Ttranslated: "I don't like this do you think its *** as well?"

Disturbing:
Susan making Jade Goody’s East Angular moment look like a Niall Ferguson programme. E.g. "Do the French drive", “Do the French like children" and “Do the French have eyebrows" (Made that last one up.)

Had enough of:
Lord Sugar's increasingly batty reasoning. If you want a rugged individualist don’t make them run a team, make them compete with each other from the start.