This week it was about buying wholesale and flogging at margin though this time the measure was total assets.
Jade stepped up to lead team Phoenix and very quickly showed that she was a total ass. She kicked and brayed in that Claire Short voice and chose a strategy which amounted to "buy random stuff and get Adam to flog it".
Team Sterling led by Bieber clone Nick were much sharper. Under the expert advice of beauty entrepreneur Jenna they bought loads of fake tan. The thing is they were selling in Essex and that's a product which as patrician fake tan non consumer Nick Hewer realised "sells rather well in Essex". It sells well in Croydon, Glasgow and I am sure Carrick Fergus, and as the owner of a painful and patchy real tan I can understand why. Maybe I wouldn't have a nose like Fergie if I didn't use real sun.Anyway "smell what sells" was the watchword but Jade turned her nose up at the tan product which sold as she coats herself in real fake gold. Anyway, the other team flogged it merrily for a tenner. Stephen and Wricky were put in charge of buying and led the charge to soak up the remaining fake tan. Wricky wears fake tan and Stephen likes to fake captivating sales oratory. Trying to flog a mop he began, "Sometimes in your life you need to take a decision". Really?Taking a decision is not something Jade likes to do but if she is to be challenged she needs more than Azar's edgy "where's your strategy?" approach. Anyway she didn't listen and should have gone when she failed to buy more toy cockroaches opting instead for hot water bottles and beard trimmers. An attempt to re-profile this product for the Essex beauty market came to naught.Anyway the producers kept Jade and fired Azar. Now if Azar had put any of his well founded doubts into a solution instead of bleating about the S word he might have survived. As it was hopeless Jade stayed to mess up another day.Performers: Adam selling and showing off to a female. He could sell Roy Hodgson's literature collection to Harry Redknapp.Plodders: Laura who just stood in that glaikit way of fake posh cosmetic assistants in department stores.Please stop: Nick slouching around aimlessly waiting for teen girls to mob him and old biddies to ruffle his barnet. (Not Hewer!)
Love it John!
Unfortunately I have met a number of people who talk a good strategy but fail miserably to deliver anything.
Looking forward to your next précis.
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