Even Dastardly Aliens Are Hit By The Recession

There are some facts that, quite without warning, suddenly make sense of something vast. For instance, in a shop yesterday, for me, the recession was put into perspective. I got talking to the guy behind the counter and he let slip the fact that even Daleks are having a hard time of it. “It costs between £100k-£200k to manufacture and ship out the kind of stock they need. They were going to do ‘em in four colours, but in the end, they just did red ones. Companies don’t want to take the investment risk at the moment.”   

So there you are: in times of recession, as Henry Ford almost said, you can have Daleks in any colour you like – as long as it’s red.

But if it’s bad news for mean-spirited alien dictators, what about us hapless humanoids? Many economists think the UK’s growth will be slow at around 1% this year and as I’ve said elsewhere, things are going to get worse before they get better, with the effect of the cuts and what they actually mean for you and I starting to kick in. But more cheeringly, this should be the last year of the current sour economic times, with growth predicted at a little under 3% in 2012, and a little over that in 2013.  
 
And what other positives might we be looking forward to in 2011?

Well, there’s a dearth of major sporting tournaments – the Ashes are out of the way, no football World Cup or European Championships, and the Olympics are next year (apparently). So for those who resent sport swamping the networks, things are looking up (I don’t know what they’re blinking moaning about, personally, they can always change channel – but I am *trying* to empathise).

In a busy month for interplanetary travel, March will see one NASA spacecraft orbiting Mercury, and another zipping around Uranus; it’s like Piccadilly Circus out there in space (relatively speaking).  

In mid-August World Youth Day will be held in Madrid, providing an unmissable opportunity for more senior observers to tut en masse, ask what on earth they think they’re wearing, and elect to blame the parents.   

And in a move guaranteed to irritate the hell out of physicists everywhere, 2011 is the UN International Year of Chemistry. Intrigued to find out how this will be marked: I’m hoping for a spectacular explosion which takes out someone’s eyebrows, followed by some really whiffy smells and a week-long detention for Blenkinsop Minor. 

It’s also The International Year of Forests, which I think is terribly clever, as forests must be one of the few things absolutely nobody finds offensive. Even international terrorists can’t have anything against them (jolly useful for hiding in). And unless the cuts get even worse, visiting a forest costs nothing. I expect the whole thing to be a great success, but then the UN to be rather stymied next year for something equally as harmless (‘International Year of the Spinney? No… International Year of the Privet Hedge? No….’)  

Contributions are invited below for candidates for ‘International Year of…’ – and the more improbable, the better. If nothing else, it might lighten the dreariest month of the year…