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Things you want to say to employees but can't because you're professional...

Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...

Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"

What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"

What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."

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  • Shit, I must be unprofessional because I would have said that Robey LOL

    When people have asked about an attendance bonus, I have said "you get one, it's called your wage" :|
  • In reply to Helen Mantle:

    Helen, I assume this was said to him with a very unimpressed look and a raised eyebrow or two? I applaud you for not saying what you wanted to say.
  • In reply to Gemma:

    Gemma, it took all my time not to choke i have to be honest! and an award wining Oscar acting moment by me not to say what i was thinking.
  • where I currently work, I am seeing a lot more people on performance improvement plans because they're not doing their jobs properly/correctly/accurately or whatever, yet when challenged about it, they deflect from their own accountability for their role and start the blame game.
    I've become increasingly frustrated by people's attitudes towards work, in that some are expecting to keep their job and the salary despite not delivering the requirements of their job.
    And I'm finding self-restraint increasingly difficult and have been branded aggressive because I'm now telling people the truth and stopping them from cycling around the blame circle.
    My only consolation is reminding myself that I'm not normally like this and believe that the environment and stress of the role is causing me to alter my outward demeanor.

    I like to remind people that the fundamental basis of the contract of employment is that the individual turns up for work, to do the work that we the employer want them to do and in return we pay them for that work done. Even then I wonder if some people really don't understand that's how employment works.
  • Oh Robey, this is excellent...probably because I can soooo relate. Made my day.
  • In reply to Shelley:

    Shelley, the mind boggles, doesn't it just?
  • Employee: I cant do reception, im busy, why cant X do it?

    What I would like to say: Because its YOUR ********Job. The one you were originally hired for which X already covers for you when you flit off without telling people you are going and when you take half an hour extra for lunch especially when senior managers are not around!

  • In reply to Cass Clothier:

    THIS!!

    We had an employee that works in our reception asking who's responsibility it was to make sure that visitors signed in because although he's sat right next to it he didn't think it was his responsibility!
  • Steve Bridger

    | 0 Posts

    Community Manager

    13 Jul, 2018 08:31

    This thread has really taken off... so thank you for starting it.

    While I've taken it in the spirit in which it was started ("a bit of fun") and it's good that we can all 'vent' a little at the attitude of some employees... I can't help juxtaposing with this concurrent thread:

    What gives you a sense of meaning in your work?

    Don't we have to meet employees half-way?

    Sorry - I don't mean to be a party pooper! :-P

  • When a valued employee leaves and a manager asks me "Why didn't HR tell me this person was going to leave"

    What I want to say: I did tell you. Repeatedly. I told you all the risks about overloading a good employee and spoke to you several times about managing workload in your team properly. Do your job

    What I actually say: Obviously we are not getting the most out of our regular meetings to discuss issues like these- how can we make them more effective?
  • In reply to Steve Bridger:

    This is why we can't have nice things, .

    But if you must impose a serious spin on this thread, the point is that we *are* expected to be professional. Sometimes that means biting out tongues and saying the "right" thing. Sometimes it means giving it to people straight. I'm sure every employee would like to find meaning in their working life and I'm a big enthusiast for a more enlightened economic relationship. But at root, employment is an exchange of time and ability for money. Often, our frustration arises from the minority of employees who think that employment and a salary are a right unaffected by their actual delivery on the other half of the equation.

    Having said that, HR is uniquely faced with being the bridging point between employees and employers, and whilst managers of every stripe have to deal with infuriating employees, *we* also have to deal with the infuriating employers who think that their gracious bestowal upon the undeserving poor of a salary (carefully calculated to be the bare minimum necessary to ensure compliance) entitles them to a controlling share in their employees' entire existences.

    I'd love to offer a balancing anecdote of management infuriation, but even though this is a private forum, this is also the Internet and I'd quite like to keep my job.
  • Steve Bridger

    | 0 Posts

    Community Manager

    13 Jul, 2018 10:26

    In reply to Robey:

    Brilliant! I'm with you... just putting it out there. I guess this thread is about those employees who don't want to meet us half-way.

    I know the feeling. My role is also a bridging point between CIPD members and the CIPD :)

  • In reply to Steve Bridger:

    There's some nominative determinism going on there, Steve! :-D
  • Steve Bridger

    | 0 Posts

    Community Manager

    13 Jul, 2018 13:20

    In reply to Jacqueline:

    Indeed. Builder of Bridges.
  • Have had a good laugh with some of these.

    I have said to managers previously when they have been complaining about their staff - " they are not trees - they can move". Would love to say this to the moaners out there.