Partly as a bit of fun, but mostly as an opportunity to vent...
Employee: "So what's my motivation for getting up at 5am to be on site for 7am?"
What I wanted to say: "Keeping your f-ing job? The fact that we pay you a salary far in excess of what your meagre skillset, dubious intelligence and questionable competence deserves?"
What I actually said: "Your professional pride in the delivery of an excellent service that our clients appreciate."